You know those times in your life when you have everything perfectly planned out, and you find yourself saying — Sure, I can do this and make great money at it?” You start making plans, getting things in order. You start getting excited about this adventure in your life and how this door was opened for you.
But the problem comes when the door begins to close, little by little, because God says NO on that venture. Honestly, that is where I am at right now. I am in a season of my life where God says — this is where you are. You cannot pursue further because I have something very special for you and it is not down this road. I feel Him telling me to sit tight, but as the control freak that I am, I find sometimes I just cannot sit still and be content with things.
It’s funny, because I honestly want the path that God has shown me will be my life one of these days, but on the other hand, I like the other one too. It’s exciting and fun and full of adventures, yet every time I try to pursue that path full and head on, the door gets closed. Not easily mind you, but SLAMMED hard in my face, as if God keeps saying — I have told you NO- stop pursuing that path.
I am learning that when God’s answer is no, sometimes it means “no, not right now”, and sometimes it just means NO plain and simple. This is one of those things where No means No and nothing more.
Writing has always been my passion and that is the road that God is wanting to take me down, yet I keep dragging my feet. WHY? I know that when I write — like right now, I find my insides stirring, because this is the gift that God has put in me and He wants me to share it with anyone and everyone who will listen. So why do I keep fighting Him so hard on this?
I think I fight because I am scared. Scared of being accepted as an author, scared of being rejected and told that my writing is not worth anything. Yet, when I receive email after email about my testimony and how it ministered to someone, I know that I am on the right path and writing is what I need to do.
It burns within me to share my heart with you all.
So I am going to really try to focus on the path of my life that God has chosen for me and just do my best to trust Him. I’m tired of hearing NO and I am so ready to see that door open and a yes happen again.
What about you? Are you fighting God on something right now? If so, try your hardest to walk towards the door that leads down the path God wants to take you on. His ways are so much better than our own.