Yesterday I watched a video by designer Jessica Rey where she was talking about modesty and the bikini. If you have not seen it, GO WATCH IT HERE NOW. I must say that it was very thought provoking and really gave me some food for thought. Since we teach our youth at church, and I have teenagers at home, I am asked all the time what I think about young girls who wear bikinis. Here are my thoughts on the subject.
As a mom, bikinis bother me. I have a teenage son whom I am trying desperately to raise and teach that women are not objects that should be ogled. However, when almost all of their skin is showing and nothing is left to the imagination, it’s hard. Guys are visual, so when girls and women choose to wear bikinis, it is hard for young men and older men to think of nothing else.
I have been on both sides of the coin here and I can tell you that the times when I was younger and wanted to wear skimpy bathing suits, it was because I wanted the attention of guys. I wanted to be stared at and looked at and thought of as an object. It never dawned on me that how I was dressing when I went to the pool was how I viewed myself. The smaller the swimsuit, the more stares and whistles I knew I would receive. It was like a drug. I was addicted to being wanted by guys and older men.
(Please remember — I am not saying bikinis are wrong. I am just sharing why they bother me. )
I love what Jessica shares in her video.
[Tweet “”Modesty isn’t about covering up our bodies because they’re bad, modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves… it’s about revealing our dignity.” – Jessica Rey.”]
Young girls today wear the latest fashion in bikinis and to be honest — there just is not a lot of fabric there. They barely cover boobs and the lower private parts. If a young girl, or woman for that matter, is fully developed in all ways, I ache for her, because I know she will be the object of some guy’s afternoon when she is at the pool.
You Don’t Have to Dress Provocatively to Gain the Attention of a Guy
Something that I think young women and ladies should learn is this — [Tweet “You do not have to dress provocatively to gain the attention of a guy.”].
Like I said, men are visual, so when they see some gorgeous young girl or lady dressing more scantily than they should, they are drawn to her . But are they drawn for the right reasons? Don’t let your inner beauty be dismissed or your charm thrown away. There is nothing wrong with dressing a little more modestly and allowing a young guy or man to like you for your innermost beauty — that which Jesus gave you.
When a guy is attracted to a girl for the right reasons, good relationships will come about from it. When they are attracted for the wrong reasons, this opens the door for premarital s*x, and lots of peer pressure that could have been avoided.
Again — these are from my own personal experiences and opinions. I am not saying that this will happen this way for everyone, but sadly, in most cases it does.
Being Modest Does Not Mean That You are Frumpy
As you can see from the modest bathing suits in my photo above, those girls look neither frumpy or not fun. They look gorgeous and stunning — in fact, I think they look more beautiful than the women in the bikinis.
Before you go out and buy a bikini, ask yourself, why do I want to wear this? Who am I trying to attract?
Girls and ladies — gorgeous men will be attracted to you even if you are wearing a one piece or a more modest two piece like a tankini. Wouldn’t you rather know that the man who is paying you attention is interested because he finds you intriguing rather than a hot “easy” object of his affection?
What is your thoughts on bikinis and modesty?