I admit it. I have a food addiction. I love food more a lot. I let it rule everything about life — what I do, how I act, what clothes I buy. How in the world can I beat this? Are you like me? Do you struggle with letting go? Why is it so hard with letting go of our food addiction?
I finally decided to really write about my struggle and just be real with y’all here in hopes that I can conquer and overcome this, and help someone else along this road.
I mean seriously — why is it so hard?
The other day, I finally came to a conclusion within myself that I am not just gaining weight because of my age. I full fledge binge eat, don’t exercise, and sit for most of my day.
What made me start really thinking about this is when I told my husband this morning that I had gained 20 extra pounds in the last four months.
I honestly want to cry.
I am miserable. I can’t breathe — and none of the cute clothes in my closet fit anymore. I am back to all my old fat clothes.
I want to sit in the floor and wallow in self pity — but God won’t let me. He keeps gently picking me up every time I fall off my healthy living wagon, He dusts me off, and gives me encouragement to keep going.
When I look in the mirror, all I see are fat rolls, a gut that seriously needs some trimming and I make this vow to myself that I am going to do better.
I do good for a while and then I fall off the wagon again. Each time I fall off, honestly — it gets harder to get back on. In my mind, I keep thinking — why even try?
But I have to. I have to keep going in hopes that I can win this war against my own flesh. I have to keep going so that I can one day, be proud of the decisions I make when it comes to food.
I don’t need 4 rolls when we go out to eat.
I don’t need to eat 3 baskets of chips and salsa when we go out.
I don’t need to sit and down a engulf whole chocolate bar because I *think* I have to have it.
I am NOT what I eat. I don’t want to live to eat. I want to eat to live. I am bound and determined that this will be my final issue with this demon in my life — this addiction.
I will overcome this. I have to. I don’t have a choice. I want to be healthy for ME and for my family. I want to live a life pleasing to God in all areas — including my food choices.
What about you? Do you suffer from overeating a lot?