Since the beginning of the year, I have tried to do my One Word for the year —enjoy. For me this means to enjoy life, laugh more, breathe more, and then find ways to just be. I have always been a yes mom, wife, and friend –but I am learning more and more that it is totally OK to say no to some things.
The realization of no started a few weeks ago when Kelby Carr from Type-A Parent posted on Facebook and encouraged us to learn the power of No. At the time I didn't fully understand that. I am one who never says no to anything — or at least I used to be. Now, I find myself saying no a lot and you know what? It is totally OK.
Why It Is Okay to Say No
As moms and wives and friends, we find ourselves being pulled in 300 different directions. I mean, have you ever just sat down and wrote out a list of all the things you do in a day's time? Why in God's name do you want to keep adding to that list of things that you really don't have to do?
For example, here is my usual daily list —
- Wake Up
- Read Emails
- Spend time with God by reading and praying
- Check Social Media for guy I work for online
- Get daughter up
- Clean House
- Prepare and photograph blog posts for the upcoming week (sometimes this is 1-2 which takes at least 2 hours per post just to prepare and photograph)
- Run errands
- Pay bills
- Go grocery shopping
- Meal planning
- house cleaning
- preparing youth group information for trips, fundraisers, etc
- complete social media for my own blog
- edit articles for guy I work for online
- Apply for new writing projects online (a girl has to make money, right)
And my list goes on and on and on!
Then — I pondered on Kelby's statement and I realized that I was overloading myself in my own work. I was taking on a ton of tasks in my life that honestly just were not a good fit for me. I was doing it because I “thought” I needed the money.
Then it hit me — it's okay to pass up on this opportunity. Somewhere down the line, God will provide a better opportunity that is more of a fit for what I'm looking for.
And you know what? He did.
From that one time I said no, I felt a breath of fresh air. I felt empowered as a blogger, and I thought — what if I apply this to other areas of my life?
I am learning to say no to all the ministry opportunities that are presented to me. While they may be great opportunities, they are just not the perfect opportunities for me right now.
I am learning to say no to things that take up the time that my family deserves so that I can focus some attention on them.
I am learning to say no to comparison — comparing myself to other bloggers in my niche.
I did a bible study by Priscilla Shirer recently called Breathe. If you have not done one, I encourage you to try this one. It was such a great reminder to take a step back and start enjoying life again.
Because of that Bible study, I picked up a really cool bracelet at Hobby Lobby the other day that I try to wear daily to remind me to do the following — just breathe.
I am also reading a great book right now — The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst. I am learning SO much and the main thing that I am getting from this is that there are things I am going to need to let go of in order to move forward in the things that I know I need to do.
I want to write an inspirational cookbook.
I want to start a podcast for women. BTW, here's a great resource on starting a podcast.
I want to create more recipes on my site.
I want to write encouraging posts that help inspire women to move further.
I am tired of the mundane. I am tired of just living and getting by. I am SO ready to step into this wonderful calling I know that has been placed on my life, but I need to learn to say no to a few things first.
And I need to be A-OK with my no.
What about you? Are you learning to say no and be okay with it? Or are you burdened down by all the yeses you seem to be accumulating?